Back To My Child Hood
Many years have past.There are many things I've enjoy and there are some bad things that I've met too.So nowadays when I was alone in my bedroom, I'll always think to the past Where I've been when I was young?Suddenly I remember one place that I have been visited and also it's my favorite place too.It's is the Genting Hill in Malaysia.I can remember,I've been to Malaysia when I was 7 or 8 years old. I really enjoy to stay in Genting Hill.It also have many things to play such as Roller Coaster,Cyclone,4D,Snow House,Ghost House and many things else.I have stay in a tall and colorful hotel and I can remember it's on the 14th floor.I really enjoy to visit Malaysia because it is a really good country.Now I want to visit it again if I have time and chance
I wonder who wrote this?
ReplyDeleteI like that you use the specific place name (Genting Hill), and some specific nouns. I would like to imagine more - how was it colorful? How is Malaysia a "good" country - what's good about it - just the games? I have a hard time picturing what it looks like. How about some smells or tastes?
ReplyDeleteGrammar suggestion - you switch from past to present tense. Since you're sharing a memory, past is probably the best tense!
Do you see how the second sentence is very general? Try to stay with the specific.
Sound like it was a great experience to visit a new country! I've never been there. I like that you show us how you are older now and thinking back to when you were young.