It is a very sunny day, on the beach, there is sand , sea water, boat....etc. On the sand there are shells , sea plants. There are huge waves covered on the beach and slide back into the sea. There are many people eating seafoods , sunbathing, making sandcastles. Some are swimming, diving under the sea. Under the sea there are many kind of sea animals, sea plants.Especially, sharks, dolphins , jellyfish...etc. Sea plants are useful like seaweeds that we can eat for nutrients in our body. We can smell barbeque, grill seafoods. The sound that we can hear is waves , people, birds. In the morning we can see the sun shines and the birds are singing , it really can make us feel happy. We can breathe the fresh air , no pollution that makes us healthy! In the evening, the sun sets the shadow of the sun in the sea. It is really beautiful! We can travel to the Islands where we can see the pure water. When we swim there we can see our legs clearly. We can make tents and sleep there or can travel back to the beach and camp. We can also fishing . With the taste of sweet, fresh and delicious. When it is early morning at 3 to 4 am we can catch crabs, fishes and lobsters, shrimp all that you want. But carefully it probably can bite your fingers!
Sreylen
Sreylen,
ReplyDeleteI like that you included specific details like sandcastles, seaweed, tents, crabs... You're really experimenting with sensory detail - good for you! My favorite line is "In the evening, the sun sets the shadow of the sun in the sea." (but maybe you could avoid repeating the word sun?)
One suggestion is to delete "etc." It makes the sentences less strong. Many of your sentences begin with "we can." Try using a variety of sentence structures, (without a modal) such as at the end when you write "But be careful, they can bite your fingers!" (correcting for grammar).
I think you've created a nice description, like a travel brochure!