This morning when I woke up I heard the soft sound of the wind, so I opened my bedroom window. I saw clear blue sky, the bright yellow sun and the weather was great, cool fresh air was blowing and touched my face softly. After I took a shower I went to have breakfast that my mum has cooked for me. She cooked hot tasty soup with a glass of orange juice for me. After that I walked to my garden which full of colorful flowers such as roses, tulips, jasmines, sunflowers etc. The beautiful view and the smell of flowers make me felt very happy.Nissa
Hi Nissa,
ReplyDeleteI like the "soft sound of the wind," and how you are incorporating sensory details and specific nouns into your writing such as the names of the flowers. Suggestion: avoid the word "etc." It takes your writing out of the specific and makes it vague/general again when you do that. I wondered how the soup was tasty? (what was in it, was it salty or sour?) Sounds like an exquisite morning!