When I walk pass the musical room everyday in my school,I heard the sound Bing , Ping, Ting...
That sounds make me happy.I wondered where that sounds came from. One day when i walked nearby that room. I heard the sound of the door opened. There was a man at the door. Maybe he was a teacher. I saw inside , There were two students, they were playing Piano. I wish i could play it one day, I think. The teacher played a lot of music like Marching in the snow, Swan lake , sleeping beauty and The Nutcracker composed by Tchaikovsky. That songs seemed famous. If I learn to play piano , I will heard the sound Bing, Ping , Ting... every day. So when I can play it well . I will play it everyday. Perhaps i will be happy everyday. I would like to play the song name Swan lake very much. Because it seems that it show an adventure of people or swan that's why the song named Swan lake. I don't know clearly about that. But I bought a book called Swan Lake . It's Barbie series and I also have DVD. I bought them when I was 7 or 8 years old in the Supermarket. The princess in the movie was really beautiful of her eyes and her lip. Her pretty long blonde hair with a magical pink and blue tiara on her head.She wore a beautiful blue , purple dress when she was in the castle. When she danced at night she wore that kind of dress that i've told you above but it was a short dress for dancing Ballets.When I heard that song I felt like I were in a magical Kingd0m.
Sreylen
Sreylen,
ReplyDeleteThere was a beautiful feeling in this writing. It really felt like a young person dreaming of what she wanted to do in her life someday. The onomatopoeia words were nice - bing, ping, ting. Sometimes people use the word "plink" when talking about a piano.
I only saw these three words though... Do you see where you could have used other sounds - for example, the sound of the door? (screech? squeak? slam?) And I wonder how the music for Swan Lake sounded when the teacher played it - did it also sound like bing ping ting? Or was that just how the students sounded when they were learning to play?
The Barbie series seemed liked it changed the topic. I think you could connect the two ideas more. Also, you could separate this into two paragraphs easily.
Thanks for a sweet description - you have a lot of nice visual images and specific detail!